Being a Kiwi

Being a Kiwi is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a
Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish
kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on
a Japanese TV.

Oh and...
Only in N.Z. ... can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
Only in N.Z. ... do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the
back of the shop to get their cough, cold, aspirin while healthy people
can buy cigarettes at the front.
Only in N.Z. ... do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and a
DIET coke.
Only in N.Z. ... do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the
counters.
Only in N.Z. ... do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars on the drive
and & lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.
Only in N.Z. ... do we use answering machines to screen calls and then
have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to
talk to in the first place.
Only in N.Z. ... are there disabled parking places in front of a
skateboard park.

NOT TO MENTION...
3 Kiwis are injured each year testing if a 9v battery works on their
tongue.
58 Kiwis are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of
screwdrivers.
31 Kiwis are injured each year by watering their Christmas tree while the
fairy lights were plugged in.
8 Kiwis had burns trying on a new jumper with a lit cigarette in their
mouth.
A massive 543 Kiwis were admitted to emergency in the last two Years after
opening bottles of beer with their teeth.

and finally.....

In 2005 eight Kiwis cracked their skull whilst throwing up in the toilet